Friday, March 30, 2018

Weight, Frosting, Birthdays: You have to be a little bit impressed.





(((off topic; aka - not autism related))))

My birthday just passed. I had the day off from work.

People seem to be under the impression that I do not like my birthday because I always take the day off. I do take the day off to avoid the "forced birthday cake where everyone stands around the staff room uncomfortably", but I also take the day off because I LIKE my birthday and do not want to spend it at work.

I have never been a fan of cake (frosting is another story) but still we are required to have forced, stand around uncomfortably in the staff room cake - every year. I do not eat the cake, but it doesn't matter - it is all about the cake. Even as a kid, I was never a fan of sitting there, having everyone staring at me while singing "Happy Birthday" - There are many home movies that still exist of me crying - cake in front of me - while people were singing.

Over the years I have, many times asked for no cake. I was told I was depriving the rest of the staff of cake. Since it is all about the cake and not really about my birthday, I started instructing the person in charge of cakes to have the cake on my birthday when I was out of the office.

This tactic worked for a few years. This year, I was scheduled to be off but a Nor Easter hit, so no one made it into the office that day.

Because of the storm, the following Friday was declared "Free Lunch Friday", and lunch was purchased for the staff. My birthday was listed among the reasons for this lunch (St. Patrick's Day, College Basketball, Ides of March were some of the others). Much like my mother making meatloaf every year for my birthday dinner (I HATE meatloaf. And NO, it is not "just like hamburgers"), they ordered barbecue. I hate barbecue. I also hate things that are smoked because to me, if you smoke something, it ends up tasting like ham. I hate ham.

All of this started me thinking about all of the foods that I do not like - and there are plenty.
It also made me realize that it is simply amazing that I have been able to gain as much weight as I have managed to gain when you look at all of the foods that I just will not eat....

You HAVE to be a little bit impressed by that.

Now.......

About THE Frosting........

After having oral surgery I went searching through my refrigerator and cabinets for some more exciting “soft food” when I came across a can of frosting in one of my cabinets.
Why did I have a can of frosting?
Beats me!
My baking skills leave a lot to be desired.
How old was this can of frosting?
Your guess is as good as mine – but in my mind, it fell into the soft food category; so…. okay. Score!
Finding this can of frosting brought me back to when DC was little. I always had a can of frosting in the refrigerator. It was a staple.
I am not a fan of cake, really – but frosting?
“Just the frosting, please.”
Never trust a person who says the cake is delicious but the frosting is just “too sweet”.
Really?
Move away from the cake… just hand it over.
I have it on good authority that THE second best thing for a frosting junkie is access to leftover cake, preferably refrigerated but room temp will do.
Leftover cake in the privacy of your own home gives license to slice (not scrape…. slice) off all of the frosting around the sides and of course the top so there is just a very thin almost just crumb-like layer of cake with the sliced frosting.
Be warned! There will be complaints that you are leaving everyone else with naked cake. What is everyone else supposed to do with a naked cake?
Donate it to the “frosting is TOO sweet” people or throw it away. Who cares?
It’s frosting-less cake.
Nobody wants it, but feel free to let it sit, naked in the refrigerator for a few more days for appearances sake to sort of console yourself into thinking that you left some for somebody else. (You also rendered it useless for those you were so nice to leave it for. But letting it sit there creates the illusion that you do not in any way understand that you have ruined the leftover cake for everyone else)
The frosting that I always had on hand when DC was young and replaced as soon as it was gone, was MY frosting. It was there just for me when I decided a spoonful of frosting was in order. (of course I was much <MUCH> thinner way back then).
Some people keep a stash of chocolate. I kept frosting.
That along with my (MY) own jar of Peanut Butter for those occasions when a spoonful of Peanut Butter was the craving, were always present in my refrigerator. I still hide my own jar of Peanut Butter – because some things do not change.
DC did not know about this frosting that I found in the cabinet, so I declared it, in my head to be mine. My mouth had been ripped to pieces. It had been a week and a half of soup and other foods that I do not like. It had been a week and a half of pain and after all of that time stuck in the house in pain and starving, this is what my life had come to…. total over-the-top excitement about a can of frosting!
But I deserved this frosting.
I only took it out when DC was not in eye shot.
MINE
I felt guilty hiding it from him, but not guilty enough to share it.
It was mine.
Mine, I tell you!
All good things must come to an end….. he caught me.
He wanted some.
Drat!
Not wanting him to pick up the bad habit of eating out of containers or finish the last of it,  I spread some on a few bite size cookies for him.  He was good with that.
It was the tail end of the can so there was just a little bit left for me.
It was the tail end of the can. He knew that, so he would not be looking for more.
It was the tail end of the can and although I thought about it – a lot,  it will not be replaced.
It was the tail end of the can…
I found a can of frosting.
I was excited.
It is gone now.
That is all.    

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The beginning of this post was written a few weeks ago but never finished. Instead of finishing it the way I had intended, I decided to use it as an opener for an old post - That counts, right?

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This is a Throwback Friday post. It's the fifth Friday prompt, of the Finish the Sentence writing community, Co-hosted by: Kenya G. Johnson of Sporadically Yours and Kristi Campbell of Finding Ninee. This week we're sharing something previously written. 

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This blog is used for shorter posts, off topic posts, for longer Facebook statuses and apparently complaints about dentists and doctors :) . Please visit my official blog site at: Taking it a Step at a Time