Mom to an adult child with Autism - This Blog is made up of shorter posts and longer Face Book Statuses.
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
A 'Dinglehopper' will just have to do
I must admit that I have never really carried a brush, comb, makeup or anything of the sort in my purse. Although my purse is heavy enough to be used as a weapon, I never got into the habit of carrying the "basic items" that everyone else always seems to carry.
My hair was always pretty much "my hair". There was really never any specific style to it. It was long (down to my waist) and straight for many years and later (we'll skip right over the perm stage in the 80's) shorter but still really with no specific style, so carrying around a brush or a comb (a comb, that would have never made it through my hair back in the day) was never anything I thought about.
DC is very in-tune to my hair (and hair in general) and points out my hair flaws quite often. He will randomly come at me with a comb or brush. He once, while "braiding" his step mother's hair, tied it all in teeny-tiny knots that had to be cut out. He loves to "do hair", but one must be very careful to pay attention to exactly what he is doing when he is "doing" your hair.
Facebook Status December 2012 (No link, it was on my personal page)
"Mom, your hair is a de - aster" - Happy Saturday!
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Facebook Status Feb 2013 (personal page)
DC-"Mom, your hair is a 'de-aster""
(apparently this is a cronic condition)
me- "But DC, doesn't it look better now that I've brushed it?"
d- "NO!"
.....everyone's a critic... Happy Tuesday!
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Facebook Status September 2016
"Mom! Your hair looks 'loverly' it looks so 'grouchous' "
(believe me, it does NOT!)
Can we all agree that he is definitely up to something?
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Facebook Status - September 2017
DC: "Mom! Mom's hair is a mess and 'rooted' (DC- speak for ????)
Me: Thanks, Bud!
Happy Saturday
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Facebook Status October 2017
Usually DC will ask me to tie a bow (after braiding, of course) in one or more of his doll’s hair - it’s kind of my second job...
Today he asked me just to make a bow. I asked what the bow was for.
“Ariel’s hair”
But how are you going to get it to stay in her hair?
#ScotchTape - the next best thing to #bandaids
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Facebook Status - May 2018
DC has always had a thing about my hair (see date on the FB post in photo) - On Saturday we took a day trip to New York City, DC's favorite place. It poured early in the day (see photo behind FB post) - Even though it did not rain the rest of the day, I was poured on and there was no coming back from that. All day long at semi-regular intervals, I heard:
"Mom's Hair"
"Mom's hair is a 'de-aster'"
"Mom's Hair is a big mess"
(I got it, really I understood)
Then to add insult to injury he turned to his Grandmother and said:
"Grandmother's hair looks very pretty"
BOOM! #BadHairDay
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I admit that there are times when carrying around a brush or a comb would be very helpful. Getting stuck in the rain - helpful.
(Warning! Run-on Sentence) Going to the dentist where they have you way back in the chair so they can lean all over the hair that falls over the sides of the head rest, knotting it up and ripping it out of your head and the end result is you leaving looking as if you have just walked through a windstorm - helpful.
On these occasions, when I happen to be going straight to work, I have been known to get a plastic fork from the staff kitchen to run through my hair.
If it's good enough for Ariel, it's good enough for me.
DC would be so very proud....
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This blog is used for shorter posts, off topic posts and also for longer Facebook statuses. Please visit my official blog site at: Taking it a Step at a Time
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
Those Tree Branches just can't seem to leave him alone...
Standard answers via: Random Facebook Statuses: When he finds an answer he likes, he certainly sticks with it!
January 2018
This morning: DC, up and ready for “boys day out” - I noticed a scratch on his chin..
Me:What happened to your chin?
DC: Scratch
Me: How did you scratch your face?
DC: Cat (we don’t have a cat)
DC: Bear claw (we sure don’t have a bear, unless Teddy counts)
Next up, was his standard reply to any scratch, mark or injury.....
Say it with me.... TREE BRANCH !
Facebook Status - January 2018
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June 2017
We went from the hotel room, to the car, to a quick stop for lunch (where we walked through no forest, woods or shrubbery). Looking at DC across the table, I noticed a mark on his forehead.
Me: DC, what did you do to your head?
(Say it with me. All together now)
DC: "Tree Branch"
Facebook Status June 2017
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March 2017
We'll that pesky and elusive tree branch has stuck again!
"DC, what happened to your head?" (there is a bump over his eyebrow)
DC: Tree Branch
(We are knee deep in snow - he has not left the house)
Facebook Status - March 2017
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December 2016
"DC fell asleep on the couch last night. I happened to notice a scrape on his elbow. I went over to check to see if it was actually a scrape and accidentally woke him from a dead sleep. I apologized and told him that I was just looking at the scrape he had on his arm. In his half-asleep/half-awake fog, he felt for it. I asked him what had happened –
and even in this not fully awake – really mostly asleep state; his answer was the same as it always is. Already drifting back to sleep, he whispered, “Tree Branch”.
August 2016
When DC called today to say he was in the car and on his way home, I didn't get the normal "going home nowwwww".
I got "Mom, I ripped my pants on purpose"
Me: Again?
DC: I ripped them to pieces.
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The last time this happened it was so bad that I had to leave work to pick him up.
The driver seems to think that he ripped them getting in the car this time but he can't be sure and after seeing them, I'm not too sure either.
Tonight I was trying to get the story out of him because of course I'd like to know if he is shredding his clothes again or if it was just something that happened.
His reply..... "Tree Branch" ....
Sigh...
Those Pesky Tree Branches.
Facebook Status - August 2016
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For something of an explanation about his "Tree Branch" injuries:
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Those pesky tree branches…
I know that I have written more than once about DC’s inability to communicate to me or anyone else if/when something might be wrong. There have been very few times that he has actually volunteered information to me when he was not feeling well or when something hurt or was bothering him.
Most of the time when he does communicate a problem to me, it is really just a ploy to cover himself in Band-Aids: Continue Reading at Taking It a Step at a Time
This blog is used for shorter posts, off topic posts and also for longer Facebook statuses. Please visit my official blog site at: Taking it a Step at a Time
Friday, May 11, 2018
Hmmmm. What don't you know about me?
I know I have said before that I do not participate all that often in Finish The Sentence Friday only because my mind goes blank when given a subject to write about.
The "Listicles"- I can manage at the last minute...... sometimes.
This weeks list - 10 things most people don't know about me, might be difficult. I may not come up with 10 (but I am sure to think of the rest 2 weeks from now) and I will try not to go to the "dark side" which is a real possibly, but I am going to give it a shot.
1. I have not driven on a highway since early 2000.
I was never a fan, but I finally just stopped one day when I felt as if I was going to just stop my car in the middle of the highway, jump out and run away screaming.
I started a new job a few months before that incident and every day the ride (for me) got worse and worse. It wasn't the traffic and as I said, I had never been a fan but every day I was sure would be the day that I would not make it.
Apparently this is one of the the ways my anxiety manifests itself, I am told. You do not have to tell me that the job had more than a lot to do with the anxiety manifesting. I know that.
I used to be embarrassed to admit my highway fear and would make all sorts of excuses not to go places when invited. I finally got over that and now I either get a ride or drive the back roads - everywhere.
It takes me a good long time to get any where, but it is okay. I do not mind.
No, I am not afraid to drive in the snow and I am not afraid of flying (these are questions I always seem to get asked when anyone learns of my 'highway anxiety". My anxiety is not limited to the highway. There are some roads that I have a difficult time with as well, but the highway is the big one).
2. I have severe anxiety
But I have just told you that.
3. I have a red spot in my left eye (so I always look like I haven't slept in 5 days) from getting hit in the eye with a rock when I was a kid. It hit me while my eye was wide open because I did not see it coming. I still remember how much it hurt and being terrified to open my eye because I was sure my eye would fall out.
4. I have 4 younger brothers. I am the oldest.
My brother, closest in age to me and me are from my mother's first marriage.
After she married my step-father, they had three more children - so you know how that went. He had his own kids now.
5. I stole a penny candy.
Yes, there really was such a thing as penny candy once. Actually it was a gum ball that I took. I do not know why. I think I just wanted to see if I could do it. Seriously, I was so awkward about it that I am sure the store own knew. She probably felt sorry for me because I was just so bad at it. Afterward I was so wracked with guilt that I did not even chew the gum and the next time I was there, I left a nickle (just as awkwardly) on the counter. I am not sure that I ever told anyone about that to this day.
6. I understand that "Life isn't fair" but when there is a blatant display of unfairness - I cannot let it go.
I make it a mission to make the person who might be treating someone (not just me; anyone) unfairly to see the light. Often my mission leads to an argument but I can not just let it go. It festers and festers.
7. (Kind of along the same lines) I won't stop arguing if you don't let me finish making my point.
There is nothing worse than when you know someone is not understanding what you are trying to say but won't give you the opportunity to explain it in a way they will understand without being interrupted. You don't have to agree with me, but you are going to listen. DO NOT walk away when I am trying to explain something or the explanations will never end and I will bring it up at every opportunity.
(You may be beginning to notice that I have had a bad week)
8. I sleep with the lights on.
Although I have never been a a fan of the dark, sleeping with the lights on stems directly from DC who always has to have every light in the house on whether he is in the room or not. I would often wake up in the middle of the night to find DC had gotten up just to turn my bedroom light on and gone back to his room to sleep. It is like he had some sort of radar that tells him when someone turns a light off. I am so used to it that now I have to sleep that way. My neighbors must wonder why my lights never go out.
9. I sleep with the TV on - all night.
The TV is a distraction from the "mind-race" I have while trying to get to sleep. I can't watch anything too interesting or it will keep me awake, but whatever I am watching does have to be at least something that I semi-like.
This is a necessity.
10. I am totally afraid of animals.
Mice? I get it; they are tiny. Why would I be afraid of something so small? I am. Terrified! I can't even look at them on TV or in a commercial. No!
If I have to enter a dark room (like the ladies room at work), I will stick my hand inside to turn on the light while not looking into the room and wait; just in case there are mice so they have time to scatter before I see them.
I do not even want to see them.
Traps? No! I don't want to see them dead or alive..... period.
11 and 11 1/2 Teeth and Feet: I cannot stand seeing anyone brush their teeth, in person, on TV..... anywhere - I gag. I have to look away when DC brushes his teeth.
I hate feet. I don't want to see them on TV, in books, online or in person. Stop showing me your pedicures - I don't want to look.
(Many of the "dark side" items were edited out.)
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This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. It’s old-school blogging with the listicle of “10 things most people don’t know about me,” hosted by Kristi of Finding Ninee and co-hosted by Kenya G. Johnson of Sporadically Yours.
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This blog is used for shorter posts and also for longer Facebook statuses. Please visit my official blog site at: Taking it a Step at a Time
Tuesday, May 1, 2018
There is extra sunscreen in his backpack
You may or may not remember that a couple of years ago I had a very difficult time getting the people at DC's work/day program to understand that he has seasonal allergies (see below if you want to catch up). Much of the problem is that the people I talk to in his annual meetings or at any other time, do not seem to pass any of the information on to anyone else that is working with him.
When he began breaking out in a rash because of the gloves they were using in the greenhouse - that information did not carry over to the other program he works in during the winter months. Sometimes I feel as if I have to talk to each and every person individually about everything.
Normally sometime before October the program moves the clients out of the greenhouse and has them work other jobs indoors until March/April.
Last year I asked them to tell me when they would be moving back indoors so I knew I did not have to continue applying the bug spray and sunscreen every morning (for those of you new here - DC just can't stand doing that every morning and because it stayed warm and sunny much longer last year than it normally does, his tolerance for all of that was stretched to the limit).
I also told his boss that there is extra bug spray and sunscreen in his backpack everyday, if he needs it (ticks were really bad last year as well).
A few days later I got a note in his talk book "DC is now working indoors with me until April" - I didn't know who "me" was and it just blows my mind that I have to ask to be told when there are changes in his program, but I always have to.
He was very happy that first morning, not to have me apply all of the screens.
The following day, his talk book said - "Worked raking leaves and weeding today".
?????
Me: "I received a note saying he was back inside until April. I did not put any sunscreen or bug spray on him this morning. Please let me know if he is going to be working outdoors so I can do that. Also, there is extra sunscreen and bug spray in his back pack if he needs it"
Staff: "We only worked outside today because we were short staffed"
(to me, that reply sounded like it was just a one day thing)
(to me, that reply sounded like it was just a one day thing)
Next Day: "We watered the plants and turned over the garden today" (or whatever they did, but whatever the specifics - they worked outside).
Seriously.... when I said to let me know if he would be working outside, I meant BEFORE he was going to be working outside, not after the fact. (and still, the sunscreen and bug spray in his backpack remained untouched).
We finally made it to a point where he was not working outside anymore because.... winter.
Now it is spring. I wrote a note asking them to let me know when he would be going back to the greenhouse so I could start putting on the dreaded sunscreen and bug spray.
They told me they were going back the following Monday.
Since that day, I have been applying sunscreen and bug spray every morning before he leaves. The extra is still in his back pack.
Today I got a note from his program:
"Worked on trimmings, cleaning up the yard. Please put 'tanning' lotion on DC if sunny"
For the above mentioned allergy issue, please read Maybe it's allergies (it is short)
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This blog is used for shorter posts and also for longer Facebook statuses. Please visit my official blog site at: Taking it a Step at a Time
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