Saturday, January 30, 2016

and..... we're flapping

Flap like a Chicken



It has been a little bit of an odd week here in DC-land. Some plusses but just all around odd. At this point even the positives worry me since he began having seizures. Right before both he was hyper-aware and oddly communicative. I just haven’t relaxed enough yet to take the positives as totally positive. So, I worry.
On the plus side, he tried and ATE zucchini! TWICE! – That is MAJOR!
Most of the “oddness” we’ve encountered this week are not out of the ordinary things they just seem to be elevated.
I know I’ve written previously that DC does not cry – never has. When he hurts himself or is upset, he will yell or scream, but he never cries. Even as a baby his crying was more like screaming and he really never had tears. To this day, it is very rare for him to have tears. When he does, it is usually due to allergies and still even with allergies, tears are rare. He will at times use water to make tears so he can look at himself in the mirror and see “tears”.
He started taking seizure medication back in August with really no adverse side effects except for one day about 3 weeks in, he was watching a YouTube video and just started bawling, uncontrollably complete with tears and “ugly cry face”. This went on for a good hour. When I asked him what was making him sad, he said it was the Barney song.
(If anyone should be crying over the Barney song, it should be me. I have had to listen to that song for 24 years now. He’s been watching that show since before it hit PBS, back in the days when Barney was dark purple (and a little scary looking, if you ask me) and Sandy Duncan played Michael’s mother. Yes, I am still looking for that Barney support group.) 
I chalked the crying up to the meds and I did inform his neurologist. It never happened again, until this week, when three times he went into the same over the top crying, like “overly emotional” me crying over a Hallmark commercial.
Each time he said it was because of the Barney song. The last time he did also say that he missed his Aunt Kim, who he is going to visit tomorrow. Now I have to wonder if it is/was a side effect from the meds why did it happen 5 moths ago and not again until this week?
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Mrs. H reported that on Friday, he came home from work out-of-sorts which seemed to stem from his immediate need to change his shirt. He couldn’t wait. Now clothing issues are ongoing here, but as annoying shirts go, this one really shouldn’t have caused him that much anxiety. Years ago, yes – but really not so much anymore. It was just a plain black shirt, no buttons, no pockets, no collar, no tags – pretty much, a long sleeved t-shirt, but it had to come off… immediately.
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Today DC and I went to meet my mother for lunch. We were going to an Italian restaurant that we have been to a few times before. DC always has a hard time finding anything to eat there. They do not have even one item on “DC’s Restaurant Triad” – Burgers, Wings or Pizza, so I have to plan ahead when we go there. I have to remind him more than once and check the menu on-line after which he chooses mozzarella carrozza (but we must call them mozzarella sticks, even though they are triangles) and garlic bread also with mozzarella – always.
At the restaurant; his order placed, he heard me order grilled chicken and insisted on having grilled chicken as well! Now, this ‘boy’ loves chicken. He eats chicken just about every day, but it has to have bones. “Chicken with bones and sprinkles” (Mrs. Dash) or wings or tenders (tenders are not required to have a bone). He never wants chicken without the bone unless they are tenders. This…. another MAJOR plus in my book – a fourth menu option!
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The minus… He got very anxious at lunch, which is not really all that uncommon. He said he needed to “flap his wings”. The restaurant was not busy and there was no threat of him hitting anyone with his flapping so I said it was fine but to try to keep the ‘clucking’ at low volume. He did, but I could see that it wasn’t working for him. I asked if he wanted to go outside for a bit. First he said no, but then he decided he would since he was done with his appetizer and the rest of our food had not arrived yet. Normally, he would think he was being punished if I asked him to go outside – I always tell him that this is not the case but that is what he thinks, so I was surprised that he agreed.
There we stood, on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant clucking and flapping. The clucking was even more intense than usual. The only way I can describe it would be that it looked like his head was motorized. I do not know how he was doing it. I have never seen such extreme clucking. We stood outside for a good long while until he decided he was ready to go back inside. We were not inside for very long before he decided he needed to go out again. More flapping more intense clucking. Eventually he calmed down and I could see a bit of a smile on his face so I knew this would probably be our last trip outside. We went back in and he was fine for the remainder of our time there.
He had a hard time; the minus –  but really the plus side is that he agreed to go outside and he decided for himself that he needed to go back outside the second time.
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I know that these incidents may not seem like a big deal to many of you. Years ago, all of the above would have been much worse but we are over a lot of that now or I should say that it all comes in lesser degrees now, so all of it combined plus the continuous repeating of random words as if the needle is stuck on a record and the out of control over the top laughing is making me nervous that he is gearing up for something.
He will be going to visit his aunt tomorrow. This will be the first time (other than when he is at his job, with “trained professionals”) that he has been anywhere without me, Mrs. H or Doug since his seizures started (our world has gotten much smaller) and given his odd behavior this week, his poor aunt will have to listen to pages of instructions tomorrow when she picks him up. Fortunately, she is used to me.
Over the years as I gave my lists of instructions to his Dad (I’ve always had many instructions even before the seizures), more than once he’s asked, “You think I am stupid, don’t you?” ……………………………………..

To the many other people who have had to listen to my barrage of instructions, I will say, No, I don’t think you are stupid. Yes, I know that you probably know all of this. On the slim chance that there might be one little thing that you do not know, I am going to say it. I will not feel better unless I say it out loud even though I am sure you probably already know it.
He is excited to go to his aunt’s tomorrow and I am sure he will be fine. I have every confidence that she is ready for my list and that there may be a quiz :)
Just kidding, no quiz…. maybe just on oral exam…
Yes, I am very fortunate that she has had many years to get used to me and is able to put up with me.

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