but......no one will know what you are supposed to be

In the event that it still isn’t apparent to everyone…….. I LOVE HALLOWEEN, and I couldn’t be happier that DC loves it as much as I do!

“But, no one will know what you are supposed to be”, is something I have been told quite often on Halloween over the years. I sometimes have a very odd sense of what is funny or what, I’m sure other people will get. They don’t always ‘get it’ but I am cracking myself up so no one else needs to join in.

DC and I begin planning Halloween in August. He must have a costume for every event he attends and me, being me, just LOVES this!

As I can always come up with the odd costume, again, thinking I am just totally hilarious, more often DC will come up with a costume that is not a costume at all, just a character wearing regular clothes or worse, a costume that does not exist or that no one has ever heard of except for DC – who is watching very old or obscure musicals or Disney movies.

There was the year that he wanted nothing more than to be “Charlie Bucket” for Halloween……..
Basically, Charlie Bucket is a boy with blonde hair.

(Charlie Bucket – Photo Credit – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)

Alrighty, then…….

In my mind Charlie’s birthday scarf was red – it wasn’t,  but I think I duplicated the jacket (doesn’t show up well in the photo, but it was very close), the hair and hat as closely as I could. I added a Golden Ticket to his trick-or-treat bag, for added recognize-ability  and I think I came pretty close to turning DC into “Charlie Bucket”.

and ……on a side note, the bag must always match the costume….

Even with the addition of  Willy Wonka and an Ooompa Loompa , people who did not know DC personally had no idea he was in a costume..

Then there was the year that DC wanted to be “Daddy Warbucks” from one of his favorite musicals,  Annie. I had planned to dress as Annie, but I broke my toe – the first in a very long line of toe-breaking incidents – so I could not walk around the neighborhood with him. Still,  I assumed that most people would know who Daddy Warbucks was even without Annie by his side………They didn't.

Even with the addition of Sandy the dog to his trick-trick-or-treat bag, most people thought he was Mr. Six.
(Mr. Six was one of his choices a few years later and yes, everyone “got it”)

(Photo Credit – Six Flags Amusement Park and *Al (at work) – Graphic Artist who works magic with my Halloween Pics every year.)

I always do try to embrace his costume requests especially when he does come up with a character from a TV show or movie that is more age-appropriate than his usual choices. Generally when he does actually choose something or someone from a television show, it is usually a show that has not been on the air for years. He tends to discover favorite TV shows long after they are out of the public eye, but progress is progress and I will take it.

This year, he surprised me.

DC’s first costume of the 2014 Halloween season was “The Doppler Effect” (Sheldon – The Big Bang Theory) – He loves the Big Bang Theory and as I said,  I will go out of my way to encourage anything he might like that is more age-appropriate than the TV shows and movies he normally gravitates to. Obviously, he did not say “I want to be the ‘Dopper Inact’ (DC-speak)” but he did want to be Sheldon, which would have been easy to do, but as he’s worn his Bazinga shirt to death, so we went for the Doppler Effect.

(Sheldon, The Doppler Effect – photo credit
teamliquid.net)

No, not everyone knew who he was “supposed to be”, but he didn’t know or care. It was funny to the people that did “get it” and that is good enough for me.

Our next party costume was one that, not only did I think no one would have any idea about, but it was really difficult to find a photo on-line to copy from – The Timekeeper from “Spy Kids, All the Time in the World” – and yes, we are required to say the full title of the movie every time it is mentioned.

(Timekeeper – Spy Kids All the Time in the World – Photo Credit: Disney – Spykids)

Fortunately, I found some “Bag O’ Gears” on Amazon along with goggles that looked close enough even before gluing said gears all over them. The costume, of course was not exact, it really wasn’t even close, but gears were added, a pocket watch and a flask with a compass, looking close enough to a clock to fit the theme. I thought it made the point and more importantly, DC loved it. As it turned out a few people other than DC  had actually seen this movie and knew right away who he “was supposed to be”.

The Timekeeper,the challenge of our Halloween season, “nailed”, according to a few reviews, we moved on to our final party before Halloween night.

The Beast…. because of course, there must be at least one Disney animated character in the mix.

This was not DC’s first Halloween as the Beast, but years ago, it was much more difficult to find a Beast costume, so again, we had to go “makeshift” and put random pieces together to get the effect. A friend of mine happened to have a mask, so that really helped.

This year, he had the real thing, straight from the Beast’s wardrobe – because, as you know, the Beast is no longer a Beast, he is a handsome Prince, he has no need of this outfit anymore.



The one costume that continues to make the list from the time DC was very young and still to this day is “Jim Dear” from Lady and the Tramp.

(sigh….)  A man in a suit…..

Not my idea of a Halloween costume, but – this is not about me….
……not ALL about be, anyway.

(“Jim Dear” and Lady – Photo Credit – Disney’s Lady and The Tramp.)

This year, while purchasing a 40’s style hat for DC to wear to an event we attended, I came across and purchased a derby type hat as well.

Next year I will give in to his request for a  “Jim Dear” costume. I suppose I will be shopping for a stuffed Lady and Tramp, and whatever else I can come up with to make “Jim Dear” recognizable. I have 7 months to think about it.

I began writing this post almost two weeks ago after DC attended his first party of the season, holding off publishing until the last costume of our season ‘dropped’ – on Halloween night.

The following is a combination of my encouragement of DC’s affection for something popular, age appropriate, something he actually thinks is funny, and me thinking myself quite hilarious.



We are just going to let you guess.

Knock Three Times

DC and I attend many events, activities and parties. Many related to his autism or specifically geared to special needs children and adults, many are not. Although I do write about some of these events or trips, I certainly do not write about all of them as, in most cases, there is nothing significantly related to DC and his autism to write about. This event was not going to become the subject of one of my posts; it had nothing to do with Autism, there would be no princesses, no wizard, no costumes, no bookstore – just DC, my mother and I attending a fundraising event hosted by an old friend of mine.

After attending, I do feel the need to write about it, and write about it from the perspective of DC and his autism and how, at times people really do go out of their way to make DC comfortable.

An old friend of mine invited us to his annual fundraising event. The previous year this event was held at a local theater where DC works as a greeter (with support, of course). We could not make it last year, I can not remember why. It may have been that DC was scheduled to work at the theater more than once that week and attending the event would have been too much for him. DC was scheduled to work at the theater the night before this year’s event but the event was being held at a different venue, so I decided that DC and I would attend. We invited my mother to go along with us. Knowing full well that a sit-down-dinner at a table with probably 6 to 8 other people would be tough for him (and me), I tried, as I always do, to relate* the event to something of interest to him.

Tony Orlando, The Honorary Chairperson, would in attendance. Now, I am old enough to know who Tony Orlando is, but I didn’t know how to relate him to something in DC’s world. There have been many times where I am surprised by who DC does know. Usually I find out that they are “the voice” of a character  in one of his movies. I checked on-line to see if Tony Orlando might have been the “voice of” anyone DC might relate to. He was not. But then I realized that whenever we hear “Knock three times” on the radio, I make DC sing along with me. We’ve done it enough times that he does now recognize the song. It is also one of the few songs that DC does not say, “Mom, please STOP singing!”

First hurdle, relating this event to something in his world – check!

The event was being held in the midst of our Halloween party season. We had already attended one party and we had a few more on the schedule in the next few days. The event’s description indicated that it would be a 40’s style gala. I did not know what that really meant but I went out and purchased a 40’s style men’s hat to go with DC’s suit.

Second hurdle, turning the event into a “costume party” – check!

My greatest concern was the seating arrangements. As I talked about in an earlier post, there are not many things that we avoid because of DC’s autism, but we do try to avoid situations where we will be seated at a crowded table with strangers.  There are times when it can not be avoided, and we get through it, but if I can avoid it, I will.

I am usually not a big fan of eating in the dining room with DC. The tables are crowded with strangers. I get anxious because DC, although pretty well-behaved in restaurants, can get a little bit loud and chewing with his mouth closed does not come naturally to him, he has to be reminded continuously. When he does remember on his own, he feels the need to point it out to me throughout the entire dinner. He likes to bring a book with him whenever we go out to eat, but at these crowded tables, it is not always possible, there just isn’t enough room.
I was never of the mind that other people should be made to just accept DC’s behavior. Yes, if I am trying to manage the situation I can live without the stares and comments – but letting him do whatever he wants in the name of awareness, is not something I ever subscribed to. I do not believe that every behavior can or should be blamed on his autism – it is never used as an excuse.

I was told that I had to e-mail someone for reservations before purchasing tickets. I am not one that ever asks for special treatment or accommodations for DC, but since I had to send an e-mail, I decided I would just mention that DC tends to get a little bit anxious in crowds and if they happened to have a table that was not full; would it be possible to be seated there? I didn’t want them to go out of their way or change anything around, I just thought that if there was already such a table available, I would appreciate it if we could be seated there. It wasn’t a deal-breaker, we were going either way, but since I had someone’s ear I thought it could not hurt to ask.

DC has issues with many types of clothing, more-so now than when he was younger, but there is nothing better, in DC’s eyes, than wearing a suit. I suspect the fact that people tell him how handsome he looks is the number one reason – if you neglect to tell him just how handsome he looks, believe me he will bring it to your attention. Add the hat “costume” to his already handsome apparel and he was over the moon.

The very first thing DC noticed upon arrival was the sign for the “Grand Ballroom”. I had not thought of this aspect when looking for things relatable for DC. Not only was he going to see the ‘voice of’ “Knock Three Times”, while looking handsome in costume, but we were going to the “Ball”! How did I miss that one?

We were in the lobby with quite a few others who had arrived a few minutes early. We were told that we had to wait a few minutes as the staff was still in the process of setting up. DC was having the normal anxiety he has upon arriving anywhere. I always know it is coming, he just needs a little time to shake it off. The woman at the door noticed he was having a difficult time, and shuffled us into the ballroom. We were away from the crowd and he didn’t have to ‘wait”. He would have been alright waiting with everyone else, but it would have taken him longer to shake his ‘arrival anxiety’, so I was very appreciative that she let us in.

We found our table. It was the very last table all the way in the corner. It was perfect.  DC, who generally is not aware of anything around him in terms of pushing his chair out, getting up from the table without looking to see if anyone is coming or putting his coat on, arms flying outward to accidentally hit anyone that might be in range, had room behind him so he would not bump  into anyone else’s’ chair or knock anyone over when he got up from the table. There was no one behind us to bother if he felt the need to get up and dance. We were the only people in the ballroom other than the staff and a few people I assume were with the organization, for quite some time.

Not long after, Tony Orlando came down the stairs. I do not like to bother people. DC has had his picture taken with many people over the years but it was almost always as a photo op. I just do not feel right asking people that are not there for that reason, to take a picture. My mother, had other ideas. She reached into her box of ammunition and pulled out the ‘Mom Guilt’….. “Oh you have to!” , “He won’t mind, he’s used to it” (that went on for awhile),  she stared at me for awhile and then resorted to the sideways glance, “Now, Vickie” in a tone I hadn’t heard in years, I finally gave in, only under the condition that SHE had to do the asking.

She went over and asked him and of course he said yes. I don’t know what else she said to him, but he was happy to do it.

First, he told DC that he looked like a movie star. You know that won DC over completely. I told him that his friend BB and Mrs. H will be so jealous. (That is usually DC’s line when we go somewhere that he is excited to be, but I decided to use it just as an added incentive to help move him out of his anxiety).  Mr. Orlando was very good to DC. They had a little chat and he told DC that they would be “friends forever”, and DC certainly believes they will.

I am officially adding Tony Orlando to the list of people I will always hold in high regard  for not only taking the photo with him, but taking the time to actually try to have a conversation with him and making him feel special.


When they began letting all of the other attendees into the ballroom we realized that we were the only people that would be sitting at our table. One of the women that I had e-mailed before we purchased the tickets stopped by to be sure we didn’t feel as if we were being isolated. It was a perfect table and we did not feel isolated at all. We didn’t expect them to go that much out of their way to give us our own table, but I was so glad they did. DC had room for his ever-present book, he was able to get up and dance behind the table when he wanted to. There was a window right there that helped to keep him occupied; he loves to stand and just look out the window. When it got dark outside, the window then served as his own personal mirror.  There is no one that loves looking at himself in a mirror or any reflective surface more than DC does, especially that night , while wearing his new hat.

Third hurdle – Not siting at a crowded table – check!

He enjoyed watching the ballroom dancers they had performing. At one point I did take him out closer to the dance floor where he could watch them (and follow along, pretty well, I might add) from the sidelines. He sang along with “Knock Three Times” and they even had pizza bites as one of the appetizers! What could be better!

Forth hurdle – DC’s very limited food list- check!

He had a wonderful (oops) ‘terrific’** time. Fortunately the ‘drop the chocolate, frosted, cupcake strategically down the opening of his jacket’ incident occurred toward the end of the evening; the smeared chocolate all over his shirt, tie and the inside of his jacket did not ruin the entire evening.

I did contact my friend, Joe the following day to thank him and to let him know how much his people went out of their way to make DC comfortable. I appreciated everything they had done.

They have also been added to my list.

*(That “Everything is Related” post I keep threatening to write IS now in progress and will be posted at a later date)
** “terrific” DC’s latest word, replacing “wonderful”.